how do I know what this word "sex" means and how do I know how to do these things? I always knew something happened to me because of the unholy rage I felt as a child. I knew one day the truth would make its way up through the darkness.
In 2011, a woman who I didn't know very well, but seen rather frequently came and spoke to me. We began speaking about her life, past drug abuse, and decades of suffering. She also went into her testimony of how she went through child sexual abuse. I was shocked at all of the signs I had of child sexual abuse. I would be even more shocked that in the near future I would learn of the horror of my childhood.
truth. For many years, this individual was in my dreams where he is always trying to murder me or vice versa. I didn't understand this as I wasn't an angry or violent person. These dreams in the past were extremely terrifying. I did dream interpretatations of those dreams recently and it represents hidden anger towards the person. Through the years, now I can see it was beginning to manifest itself. This person has literally destroyed my entire life and everything within' it, but I didn't come to this earth to fail. This will all be used for good. I will succeed at whatever I choose to do.
In this dream, I am crying hysterically. My world is in terror and great trauma. Also, it wasn't the person I suspected and the truth made it much worse for me. While in this dream, I am crying and hysterical. I wake up and I remain in this state for 10 minutes in reality. I remember waking up with my face covered in tears. I fell to the floor as if the trauma was taking place at that very moment. This is how it works. I was covering myself, protecting myself as if my attacker was there at that moment. I also covered my head with my arms in complete guilt and shame while crying hysterically.
Maybe you're thinking what does child sexual abuse have to do with me? Well, it has everything to do with you because if you watch the news. I promise you that at least 90% of the crimes committed come from child sexual abuse. People have gone through these things and the truth has not manifested yet. People cannot stand this void within' themselves and I know that void all too well. This type of void drives people over the edge. The question for me was "how do I cure something when I don't even know what the problem is?".
The basic thing is that people get so engulfed in this trauma that they live in a state of shock. Anger masks the trauma and so often times the anger and trauma defeats the person ending in a tragety. The trauma lies within' our subconscious mind. Well, over time all of the trauma in the subconscious mind will flow over into the conscious mind and a tragety then occurs because the victim becomes the villian. The subconscious mind can only hold the trauma for so long before it flows into the conscious mind.
I will be defeating these things in the near future and I will be a voice for this. I wanted to get things moving in music, but I must defeat this first. The music is ready to go and to be recorded, but I am not ready to change the world just yet. I know that we all will change this world for the better. No doubt. But you can't drive a ship if the captain is not ready to steer. I've lost 190lbs in 2 years. So, take that as my creditability and a guarantee that we will change the world for the better. I promise and I don't make promises.
I'll share one more expierence from yesterday. I'd be lying if I told you I had it all together and wasn't struggling to the core with this. Last evening, I was sitting at my window looking out sobbing so hard when a little girl with blonde hair appeared with another little girl. They were outside playing in their yard. I began to think of who I once was as a child. It really scared me as I was all nice and happy like that too. I asked myself who is this little girl? My automatic thought was she is you. I then prayed for help as only people who have gone through this trauma understand how painful this is. I know that I will get through it and I know that this is the worst cancer going throughout our world. People are unaware of how incredibly common this really is. My friends, we must come together as a voice for peace, love, unity, and acceptance in this world. If we can't stop judging and condemning others based on our views and opinions the world will get much worse. Do we really want that? My thinking is we can do so much better and I see the disasters happening as a sign saying to us
"you all can do much better."
I'm telling you that no disaster has any power if we don't give it the power to happen. Have you ever thought that these things are happening because something is trying to wake us up? I know thats what is happening and I'm waking up. I hope you are peaceful in your life and happy. I've read that we create our realites with our thoughts, words and actions. Could a tornado have the power if there was only love on earth? No way! So, thats our mission. To become more loving to ourselves and our world around us. We will be the ones to change it all. Real change begins within' every human being, not with a president or anything else. The world is sick because the people are sick and we all must take better care of ourselves. "We can do better." We will do better my friends. We will take our power back. Peace to you. Take care of yourselves. Be good to those around you. Fight through whatever is holding you down...fight the darkness and come out on top my warrior friends.
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Yours Very Truly,
The Justin Stangry
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